CHARACTER TRADES

 

Digital nomadism? So today! And in the future you might not even need overseas clients and a laptop to earn your income: you yourself, your smartphone, and an app are quite enough — just put your emotions out there and exchange. Someone is certain to need an instant boost of empathy. Sharing is caring — and earning. 

Illustrations by Paul Waak

 
 

Enthusiasm

Every goal is worth a cheer. The craziest ideas can inspire the most exhilarating statement. There is only one thing left to do: become an Enthusiast! Collect points for every empowering statement you let loose. Make your positive affirmations paid add-ons while you build-up underwhelming start-ups, and make them glow like a ray of sunshine. Make your energy your income and be an anchor rescuing those in doubt. 

 


 

Joy

Positivity is your second name. Your outlook is always on the bright side. Come what may, you get extraordinarily excited about the smallest things.  Sign up for the Joy Division service and get excited for strangers’ lives as if they were your own — “What a fantastic haircut!” “Is that the first snowflake?!” Gift little moments of luck to others and sweeten their everyday. You are the gift that keeps on giving — and moneymaking has never had a prettier smile. 

 


 
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GUILT

The word martyr sounds like the soundtrack to your life. If no one else will, you step up to take the blame. Make It’s My Fault your work ethic! If all goes wrong but no one feels responsible, it was you! Successfully accept others’ errors with the automatic “Mistake Matchmaking” tool. Turn around the office mood, save relationships, and make family gatherings bearable again. And fill your piggy bank as a scapegoat!

 


 
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Sadness

Looking at a puppy makes you weep, a sad movie at the cinema has you sobbing, and tragic news equals torrential tears. If this sounds familiar, then you are predestined for the Cry My Tears collective because your sadness is worth all the gold in the world. Launch your online profile today to tag your tear-triggers. Whether tragic cause of death or heartbreak, a bad day on the job or insolvency — cry together with others, or better yet, cry the tears that others are incapable of letting out.

 


 
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ANGER

 

You’re really great at being against stuff. You get worked up over things that have nothing to do with you — and you certainly don’t mind getting vocal about it. In that case, here is your business model: with this new community app called Haters/Friends, make your personal hater-qualities a profitable commodity and help others to dispense their passive-aggressive frustrations by turning them into active haters. Join a neighbourhood gang, or offer exclusive one-on-one courses.